"Part 1??!!  Oh crap, she's going to write more!"

Yes this is going to be a long one.  I offer no apologies for this fact, nor will I apologise for my use of bad language.

Okay why am I so aggravated right now?  Well, I received an email (stupid damn chain email) from someone (who unfortunately doesn't know me as well as she thinks she does).  She thought that the email 'was great.' 

Now, she has a good heart, so I know she would not have wanted me to be as upset as I was, nor do I suspect was it her intention to get me as angry/riled up as I currently am. I also suspect that she wasn't expecting the reply I sent her.  I was polite, before anyone thinks I went totally bitch-head on her.

The fact that I've actually committed my negative emotions (i.e. the reasons as to why I'm royally pissed off right now) to 'print' is testament to just how upset I was, and to be honest, still am about this.

I am not so angry with her, as I am to the original author of the email.

I shall now add the email contents, my comments/asides/possibly snide remarks to the originator of this crap are in red:

DID YOU KNOW THESE FACTS?
I SURE DIDNT (sic) TILL NOW
Death is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely death! - There are a few things in 'life' that are certain: Death, Taxes and dodgy politicians.
Make a personal reflection about this.........
Very interesting, read until the end........
It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7):
'Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man sow, that shall he also reap..
Here are some men and women who mocked God : - They did NOT all mock, some merely expressed an opinion, it's called FREE WILL, something that Jesus died for.  Free will and the forgiveness of man's sins.
John Lennon (Singer): Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said: 'Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that... I am certain.  Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, today we are more famous than Him'(1966).
Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times. - In 1980 FFS! Why the long gap if God was so pissed off? If your God can create an entire planet in 7 days, he wouldn't take this long to think up a suitable 'revenge' or 'punishment'.  Besides, I thought that your God said that all life was sacred. Why would he want these people to die?
Tancredo Neves (President of Brazil): During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency.  Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President, then he died. <-- they didn't say if he died the day before, the day after... clarify dates!
Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet): During a show in Canecio ( Rio de Janeiro ), while smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said:'God, that's for you.'
He died at the age of 32 of LUNG CANCER in a horrible manner.. <-- This is disgusting, as any type of cancer is a horrible way to die and it is NOT a punishment.  The fact that his sexuality was listed just goes to show that the originator is also homophobic too!
The man who built the Titanic - A single man did not build the Titanic, but that's just me being a tad pedantic here.  The designer - a name check would have been nice for the poor guy in the email, seeing as you think he's burning in hell - was a man named Thomas Andrews.
After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be.
With an ironic tone he said: 'Not even God can sink it'
The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic.
So, by this rationale, God has punished every single innocent person who was on board this ill-fated voyage, because of a throw-away comment. What kind of God are you 'advertising/promoting' here?  Not a merciful one, which according to the New Testament, he is supposed to be.  More on this later.
Marilyn Monroe (Actress)
She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show. He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her. After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said: 'I don't need your Jesus'.
A week later, she was found dead in her apartment.  - She was a woman suffering with a severe depression at the time.  God did not smite her.  If he was angry, it would've been when she spoke to Billy Graham.
Bon Scott (Singer)
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang:
'Don't stop me; I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell'. - Great/Cool song, BTW.
On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit. - The way that this is written is as though the vomit got up and throttled him. 
So we're back on the listening to Rock/Heavy Metal/insert anything that isn't a hymn, will ultimately lead you straight into hell, or maybe it was the fact that he was singing it that actually caused the 'choking by his own vomit'.  We live in the 21st Century, not the bloody dark ages when people didn't know any better. I cannot begin to understand how people can still believe this and even worse, preach this shit  to others.
Campinas  (IN 2005) 
In Campinas , Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend....
The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car: 'My Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect You.'
She responded: 'Only If He (God) Travels In The Trunk, Cause Inside Here.....It's Already Full '
Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact..
The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none was broken.
First comment/question - why did the mother let her daughter get into the car with a bunch of drunken teenagers if she was so worried?
Second comment/question - what were they doing with a crate of eggs?
Christine Hewitt (Jamaican Journalist and entertainer)
said the Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever written..
In June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle. - The bible that is currently in print now, was written by Men, not divine creatures, but human beings.  Let's face it, humans aren't the most trustworthy of creatures, plus their memories aren't always what they should be.  Get someone to write a witness statement after an accident...
Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus. - A whole load more "less important" people don't share the same religious beliefs as yourself, so is every single tragic/horrible accident a result of someone not believing in this religion/your brand of God?
Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive.
'Jesus'
PS: If it was a joke, you would have sent it to everyone. So are you going to have courage to send this?.  - This doesn't take courage, in my opinion, this just takes the balls to send out the HATE that was never preached in any Bible I read.
I have done my part, Jesus said 'If you are embarrassed about me, I will also be embarrassed about you before my father.'
I am not embarrassed about Jesus, why would I be?  I am embarrassed by the fact that some idiotic zealot of a human being has taken it upon themselves to preach fear, intolerance and hate, when (I'm sure) that ALL religions preach peace/love/understanding/tolerance.

My anger here is aimed at the asshole who was the very first to send it out... basically the originator of such shite.

It concludes with:
You are my 8 in 8 seconds. I am not breaking this. No way!
I'M TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!! - By whom? Again you need to clarify these facts in order for people to believe you.
Bishop T..D. Jakes '8 Second Prayer.' Just repeat this prayer and see how God moves!!
'Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name..
Amen..'
A truly beautiful prayer.  If that's what you believe, then all power to you.
Pass this message to 8 people {EXCEPT YOU AND ME}... - Okay, now treating the recipient like a frigging moron
You will receive a miracle tomorrow. I Hope that you don't ignore and let God bless you.
Since when has God handed out miracles because we forward emails to people who are just as blind and/or ignorant as the originator of a frigging CHAIN EMAIL. 

To be continued...