A few weeks ago, my cousin Diane died unexpectedly.  If that wasn't bad enough, on the morning of 1st August, her Dad, my Uncle Walt, died suddenly.  My parents are absolutely devastated.

In the last 7 months, we've lost 3 members of our family.  2 within a matter of weeks.

It brings home just how short life can truly be and that you should cherish everyone you love, as you really don't know just how long you will have them for.

Spent the day helping my Mum update her computer's drivers, to help take her mind off of things.  It actually helped me too, to be honest.

I've been told not to get too morbid, as I've been known to when people die.  I don't cope particularly well when anyone dies.

I was brought up a Catholic (please don't hold it against me), and between the ages of 10 & 11, I had to sing at all the local Catholic funerals.  The entire class did, don't get me wrong here, I wasn't a soloist.  It was horrendous.  Those poor relatives of the "departed" seeing them so upset - obviously - was just awful.  Having to squeeze past the bloody coffin to get communion, with that utter fear/dread that the box would move or the person inside would knock/bang on it!!  Thriller had nothing on any of the fears that the Catholic funerals that I've attended brought on.

My parents weren't really aware of my terror at these situations, it was only when I was a lot older that I even told them.  Our teacher said that we gave a lot of comfort to the family of the 'dearly departed'!!!!  Bollocks, absolute f***ing bullshit.

The Catholic Church and I have now gone our separate ways.  As I got older, I began to question the hypocrisy of that particular church's teachings.  Don't get me wrong here, I don't have a problem with any 'god', whatever gets you through the day, is fine by me.  With the huge exception of anyone preaching hate, fear and prejuduce - that's not on! It's not so much that I have a 'problem' with religion, it's more of a 'problem' with the way that it is taught/preached.

I was told as a child that anyone who wasn't a Catholic would not go to heaven!!  For f**ks sake, my Dad isn't a Catholic!  That scared the living crap out of me as a 7 year old!  That is tantamount to child abuse.  That's pure mental cruelty.  They get their hooks into you whilst you're young and won't question anything.

It strikes me that most wars have started because of religious differences/bigotry.

Someone once hypothesised, "I bet you aren't afraid of dying now." WHAT???  Yes I am, any rational person would be a little bit 'concerned'. 

Okay, calling it a night as I'm that tired, I feel dizzy and sick. Sorry if I've depressed anyone, I didn't mean to.  Just me and my many rambling thoughts and they needed an outlet, a venting place.

Sweet dreams and may whatever you believe in, bless you, keep you safe and well and get you through whatever troubled moments you might have.  <-- That's the nearest I get to praying for anyone.  But I will send my love, best wishes and good vibes to anyone at anytime when they need it!

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth." - Albert Einstein